At a time in my life where I believe am learning the most lessons, one of the lessons that stands out is the lesson in reflection. Reflection is unique in that in order to be able to reflect, the event must be in the past. We must be past the event before we can learn from it. This can get frustratingly confused with regret.
When people say ‘never regret’, I cant help but think that this is impossible as undeniably, certain decisions we make would most certainly have had a better outcome if we had made them differently. Despite this, my belief is that certain events are inevitable and we must seek to take what we can from these in order to grow. The negative feeling toward a certain decision is balanced on how quickly we can accept it has happened and learn from it, to better future decisions.
Reflection in this way is looking at the past from a vantage point with a more matured state of mind. Through doing this, we map the way our life should go moving forward, at least this is my understanding of it. Recently I have used reflection considerably. At the time this blog is being documented, the world is in a state of pandemic. We are in a place that we have never been before to this extent, locked away with limited social interaction and only our previous ‘experiences’ to evaluate. We are in a place of standstill, not much is ‘going on’ in our lives. I ascribe this to my deepened state of evaluation and reflection.
Songs are vehicles of reflection. I write stories, stories of people learning, or not learning. Stories of the journeys of other people and myself. Sometimes these people don’t exist, only in my mind. It’s like I am trying to predict the lessons I might have to learn. Subconsciously, this could could be to prevent me from having to learn them. It’s likely that I will still go through these experiences and learn these lessons in my own time. I guess trying to reflect from a place that you have never been is difficult; maybe my songs don’t make sense. If you have been through these lessons and listen to my songs, perhaps you can see that it is written by a person prematurely. When I look back in the future, I will write a blog about that exact thing.
My EP ‘The Quiet Kind’ is written about lessons I have already learned. Ironically I wrote it while I was learning those lessons, this is why some of the lyrics mean something different to me now than they did then. This is well detailed in my previous blogs.
At the age of 26 I know who I am, at least it think I do. I know what I want to do and how I want to help people. I hope I can reflect in the future and realise that, at this time now, I was right. Hopefully I have learned all my lessons and I am fully qualified to take on the life journey ahead, although I am pretty sure I have a long way to go.